Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In a Funk

I want to apologize to everyone today. The past several days I have just been struggling and hope that I have not put anyone off or offended anyone. I think a lot of it comes down to Robert being gone so much. I had Robert give me a blessing last night and in it he said that I needed to share what I am feeling with others. I really don't want to share with him right now because he already feels really guilty that he is gone so much, so how do I add to his guilt by tell him that I just feel so alone right now. So I decided to share with my friends in the blog. It isn't easy to tell others that you are just lonely and just need some fun adult times. It feels isolating to not be able to attend social events without your husband and when you do you feel like a third wheel. When we found out Monday that this extra overtime was going to last the rest of the year, all I wanted to do was cry instead of thanking my Heavenly Father for the job security right now. So I hope that through this I have not hurt anyone as I feel sorry for myself. I do love and care for you all and thank you for your support in everything.

7 comments:

Rachel C. said...

Oh, Hannah! I know exactly how you feel! There was a time back in college where I felt like I never saw Derek because he worked from 6am-9pm, and then I worked from 6pm-10. We were both so exhausted from work, we just went to bed after that.

I felt like the situation was changing who I was and we needed a serious change in employment.

And I'm sorry if I was rude last night about the clothes at the Sharing Tables. After I said what I said, I felt like I was rude and I want to apologize.

If you need entertainment, just call me! I literally live just around the corner!

The Hemming's said...

Hannah, I think there are a lot of us who have been in similiar situations. When Josh and I were first married he worked nights and I worked days. We saw each other for a half hour 5 days a weeks. It was horrible!I was sooo lonely! But like you, I didn't want to call anyone in the ward to hang out because they were married.-Please call me if you need anything, or just need to talk. There are a lot of nights where Josh stays late at work, so I am free to do either one for you.
Don't worry about offending me ever. You always have a smile on your face and are always kind to me and my family.
I hope your situation gets better soon.

Shauna said...

As you'll probably learn soon from all the comments, you're not alone!! I'm sure it's a lot harder because you have more kids than me, but I feel the same way these days. Nathan is way busy with his Masters/homework/church jobs etc and it does get lonely. Call me if you need to talk or need anything. We also need to have more girls night outs, they always give you an extra boost.

Kristi M. said...

Wow, all of us have felt the same way one time or another. Jeff and I have been married for 8 years in Novemeber and for 7 of those years, Jeff worked nights and weekends and I worked days. It does get really hard. It really helped that I had family nearby and awesome friends in the ward. You have such great friends in the ward and you really need to rely on us for girl adult time. All of us really need to get together one of these days. I like to think that situations such as these will pass. It is just a phase in life that we go through. I did notice that you were a little off these past few days and I am really glad that you shared. I know that I consider you a friend. Your entire family is great. You are such an honest, hardworking person and that will get you through anything. Hang in there. We are all there for you.

Robert and Hannah said...

Thanks everyone! I was thinking the other day why this is so hard right now when like the rest of you we have been in this position many times before (include the few years when Rob was in Korea and Colorado and we weren't together). Ithink it is because the kids are older, and more of them, and so they are so much busier.

A little teaser, I am planning a girls night soon so watch the mail!

Darin n Kyla said...

YES!!! A girl's party! I was wanting to do one ever since Britany gave me the idea, but haven't gotten to it! Please let me know how I can help. Even if you want to do something together - I am excited for it. I don't think you could ever offend anyone, Hannah - you have such a great smile and warmth to the way you associate with others. I always look forward to talking to you because you make others feel great. Call me up if you are feeling down, please! Take care
Love,
Kyla

Brandon and Katee said...

Well, everyone else beat me to the punch. It is hard not seeing your husband and being home with the kids all the time, not getting any big people time. We are encouraged to make sure we get "Mommy" time and we all need to do it! I am so bad at it as I am sure most moms are, that is what we are, moms, and it is hard to seperate yourself from that. You are an aweseome person, strong, faithful and so loved by your ward sisters. You will get through this and if you need ANYTHING, call me.