Thoughtful Thursday, Family Friday, All on a Sunday!

O.K. So I am so behind. I have a hard time getting out my usual Thursday and Friday posts on time because they are usually busy days where I don't always get the down time to write. I really need to just write them ahead and schedule them, but I usually forget. So I will do a combined post today.

Thoughtful Thursday

I started reading Asperger's Syndrome A Guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Attwood this week. The first chapter deals with the diagnostic process. The second chapter has been very enlightening so far. It is all on Social behaviors. I am still working on this chapter, but wanted to share some of my insights.

First was on playing with others. Jesse wants to be friends with people many times, but struggles knowing how. Other times he wants to play by himself and this describes him perfectly: "The child appears to play in a 'bubble' and can resent other children intruding into their activity. When the child intends to play on their own and other children are inquisitive or want to be sociable, they can be quite abrupt or even aggressive in ensuring their solitude. They often prefer to be left alone to continue their activity uninterrupted." This happens almost daily between Jesse and Faith. He can get very upset when she tries to play with him or sometimes even sit by him.

Another thing that stuck put was the lack of social codes of conduct. This situation is so familiar to me, "On occasions the person may appear ill-mannered; for example, one young man with Asperger's Syndrome wanted to attract his mother's attention while she was talking to a group of her friends, and loudly said, "Hey, you!" , apparently unaware of more appropriate means of addressing his mother in public. The child, being impulsive and not aware of the consequences, says the first thing that comes into their mind. Strangers may consider the child to be rude, inconsiderate or spoilt, giving the parents a withering look and assuming the unusual social behavior is a result of parental incompetence. . . It is essential that other people understand that the child is not being rude, but did not know a more tactful alternative or appreciate the effect on other people."

Mr. Attwood describes the use of social stories to help teach proper social conduct. Once children with AS understand the proper conduct, they will almost become police in enforcing it. For example a few weeks ago we were playing tag at the end of scouts. Faith ran into the person who was "it" but everyone else continued to play as if she hadn't. Jesse became upset and stopped the game saying that Faith had touch the person and now was it no matter what. The social stories are very descriptive, showing what the situation should look and sound like for the child.

I wanted to share a few poems found in the book as well:

One foot in and one foot out

Is what Aspergers is all about.

Sometimes I think why me;

other times it's the best way to be.

A little different from the rest

makes you think you're second best.

Nobody quite understanding

a hard life which is very demanding.

I look like any other child

but little things just make me wild. (Vanessa Royal)

People everywhere,

Talking, wearing bright colours.

The talking is like the pounding of horses' hooves,

The bright colours are blinding,

The talking hurts my ears,

The bright colours hurts the eyes,

Oh why can't people be quiet and wear dull colours. (Dianne Mear)

The second one really describes Jesse feeling towards loud noises. Every time we try to have music on, he tells us it hurts him to listen to it. He sits through music class in school with his hands over his ears. Even as a little kid he would run out of sharing time because it was to noisy and he couldn't handle the others kids talking.

Family Friday

This week has been another busy week. Tyler had district for track on Friday where she ran the 200 meter hurdles. It was her first time running the race since she was injured a few weeks ago. She did a great job and I was nervously watching hoping she wouldn't fall again and reinjure herself.

We also finally got the lawn mowed and flower beds weeded after all the rain. Our yard was really looking bad! I also got the rest of the garden planted. Some stuff is still a little early, but I figured I would cover them if they came up before the last frost.

This morning I found I had an e-mail from 5 minutes for moms saying that I won an Elliot Lucca Ellene satchel. I was shock to win such a big giveaway. My one question is where do you wear a bag like this? I am sure I can find some place though!

Thoughtful Thursday- Changing It up

I have decided to put a hold on The Holy Temple series for a little while. This past month has been a really trying time with our son Jesse. Yesterday at his counseling appointment his psychologist let us know that he is coming up for his diagnostic review and that he will be adding the asperger's syndrome diagnosis to the ADHD at that time.

I have taught many students with ADHD in the past. However I have only taught one student with aspergers and he moved just as we were getting him diagnosed so I didn't get a lot of experience learning how to work with him. So I have decided to spend some time researching AS so that I can better help my son. So starting next week I will be discussing the book Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Atwood.

Thoughtful Thursday- The Holy Temple, chapter 2-3

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

It has been awhile, but I was finally able to get a few minutes to read again. One of the points that I really enjoyed was that preparation for getting to the temple. President Packer likened it to a college class where you have to take fundamental chemistry before you can take advanced chemistry. The same is true of the temple, we must prepare ourselves for the opportunity to enter the temple and participate in the sacred ordinances there.

This preparation also includes what we take with us each visit. "If you will go to the temple and remember that the teaching is symbolic you will never go in the proper spirit without coming away with your vision extended, feeling a little more exalted, with your knowledge increased as to the things that are spiritual. . . What we gain from the temple will depend to a large degree on what we take to the temple in the way of humility and reverence and a desire to learn. If we are teachable we will be taught by the Spirit in the temple." I know one of my problems is looking past the literal interpretations and looking at the symbolic meanings. I think that is where the preparation for me needs to come in. Instead of the hurried rush to the temple with my mind still racing once I arrive, I need to take the time to unwind before enter the temple so that I can have my mind open to the revelatory powers of the Spirit.

Thoughtful Thursday- Temples

Well I have been slacking with everything else going on and haven't gotten my reading done. So I thought I would post this wonderful video on temples to go along with what I should be reading. Enjoy!

Thoughtful Thursday- The Holy Temple, chapter 1

I finally picked a new book to read and started The Holy Temple by Boyd K. Packer yesterday. I remember reading the short pamphlet based on this book years before, but even though we have had the book for a long time I haven't read it.

The first chapter was a very basic chapter for those familiar with the temple, but there were some great insights that I loved. First is this quote, "Central to the message about temples is the fact that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, the Only Begotten of the Father; that He lives; that He directs His servants upon the earth." I love how the Savior is so essential to the teachings in the temple. The temple organizes families according the our Heavenly Fathers plan and allows us to be together eternally thanks to the Savior.

President Packer also tells a wonderful story of a family in Guatemala that was transformed by attending the temple. A trip that would have taken them many days and hardships to achieve. He ends the chapter with this, "Firmly resolve now that you will do everything you can do to aid temple work and the genealogical work that supports it and to assist every living soul and every soul beyond the veil in every way you can with every resource at your disposal. Come to the temple!" I know following this counsel has helped us so much, but we still need to strive to improve our genealogical work. I look forward each week to attending the temple and feeling my Savior's love for me there.

Thoughtful Thursday-Create

This week I didn't get a new book picked out to read so I wanted to share this great video instead. I saw this on TJ Hirst and thought it was great. The video really puts President Uchtdorf's message in a very inspiring way. This got me thinking about what I have created lately, and I am quite disappointed in myself. Since receiving this counsel, I haven't made the changes I should in my life to make sure I am using Heavenly Father's gifts to me to create in my home and personal life. I think often we as women belittle our talents because we think it is prideful to acknowledge them (or at least I do this often). So I decided that I want to make some creative goals to improve the talents I have been given. Here are some of my goals:

1. Select a room in my home to spruce up while staying within a budget. I think I will try the front bathroom since a coat of paint would go along way there.

2. Find a challenging song to learn. Whether I ever sing it somewhere I don't really care, I just need to start singing again (more than just ward choir). I know I have lost a lot of the range I had when I was a music major in college and I need to start working on my music again.

3. Go through each room of the house and deep clean it. The kids help out a lot with cleaning since they all have their chores around the house, but kids just don't clean quite well enough.

4. Use the ribbon I have to make bows for Faith instead of buying them.

5. Prepare my Relief Society lesson.

6. Create ways to have one on one time daily with each member of my family. So often my time gets eaten up with getting Jesse's homework done (it can take hours and you have to stay right with him or he will get of track and it doesn't get done), cooking dinner, and getting everyone done with chores before bed. I want to work on creating daily memories with the kids.

7. Create ways to be more successful with daily gospel study.

8. Get scrapbooking again so I can get caught up!

I know there are a lot more, but this will get me started. What about you, what are you creating in your life?

Thoughtful Thursday- The Peacegiver, Part IV

In case you haven't noticed, Thoughtful Thursday repeatedly is late. Thursdays are crazy for me, so please bear with me.

This week I read part IV of the Peacegiver. It amazes me how beautifully written this book is. It captures the message so perfectly while still telling a wonderful story that I think all can relate to. We may not be on the brink of divorce as the couple in the book are, but we all have struggles in our relationships and sins that we need to repent of. How often do we judge others while still having major issues ourself.

Something that really struck me this time dealt with Christ's suffering in Gethsemane. When I think of this amazing time, I think of him suffering through all the sins, illnesses, loneliness, and heartache that all of earth have suffered. However the following is something that I never considered. "With all this sinfulness heaped upon him, he then had to withstand the unimaginable onslaught of the entire power and fury of the forces of hell, and do so, as Paul describes further "yet [remaining] without sin.' For Satan knew that if he could wield the power of his captivity - the chains of our sinfulness that lay ready to bind the Savior - and entice the Savior to sin, he would bring the Savior into his captivity as well. Then the destruction of agency would be complete, and mankind would be left without a way for their hearts to be purified and cleansed. There would therefore be no way for any of us to return to the Father, where only the clean and pure can dwell. . . On this night in Gethsemane, Satan is only one sin away from holding all creation in his hand."

WOW! I never thought of this. I never picture Satan working to tempt the Savior during his battle in Gethsemane. To imagine Christ suffering for us with having to withstand Satan is incredible. It brings a whole new light on the saying "taking our sins upon Him." I am truly grateful for the power of the atonement and all that the Savior has done for my family.

Thoughtful Thursday- The Peacegiver, Part III (A Few Days Late)

This weeks reading was very interesting and enlightening. It was on the chains of sin and how Satan entangles us in his web of flaxen cords. As this book has often done, things were put in a new light for me. I think I generally feel that I am on the right track in life, with some things that I need to work on and improve on.

One of the things that hit me hardest with this section was that Satan has a hold on us from the first sin. "One transgression, one choice away from the Lord, and what happens? The transgressor becomes blinded to his responsibility for sin, and he begins to fall into the captivity of the devil, which are the chains- the chains of sin- that keep him from feeling the need or desire to return to the Savior. This is how we become subject to the will of the devil when we yield to temptation." Wow! How much do we need to be vigilant in our efforts to avoid even the first sin and to repent in the face of sin. It is when we feel that we least need Christ that we must redouble our efforts to come unto Him and seek his guidance and counsel.

Thoughtful Thursday- The Peacegiver, Part II

Part II of The Peacegiver deals with the story of Jonah and the Ninevites. It was really great to be able to see this story in a different light. Usually when I think of the story of Jonah I think of obedience instead of justice and mercy.

One of the very humbling insights from this section dealt with what we "deserve" or are "entitled" to. So often I have caught myself saying things like "I deserve happiness" or "I deserve to feel . . . " However ponder these insights "But what's false is this idea that you or I deserve that love and devotion-that we are somehow entitled to it . . . Love and salvation are gifts. How grateful we should be to receive them in any Measure! . . . Hell is all we could ever hope for, Ricky, if it weren't for the redeeming power of the Savior's atonement. It is only his love, offered not because we deserve it but even though we do not, that saves us." Wow how true and to the point is that. It is so easy to get in the self pitying mode (I have already been there today) instead of focusing of the amazing love that we have been giving.

The other insight that really hit home for me was remembering our own sins instead of focusing on what the offender has done to us. Jonah felt that even though the Ninevites had repented they still deserved punishment because of their past wickedness. He did not think of his own sins and repent of them though. How often are we Jonah and feel that the person who has offended us deserves punishment while we forget our own faults in the matter. Was our heart and mind in the right place or are we needed to seek forgiveness ourselves. So many times I know that I have focused oh what someone has done to upset me, but I don't look at my part in it and what I could do to make the situation better. I really need to focus on remembering my sins and work on correcting them instead of blaming others.

Thoughtful Thursday- The Peacegiver, Part I

To start my gospel study I began reading The Peacegiver by James L. Ferrell. This book has been recommended many times to Robert and I, we bought the book awhile ago and I just haven't gotten around to reading it.

This book is written as a modern day parable that is easy to read while bringing to light some great doctrinal insights. Part I deals with the story of Rick who is having marital struggles stemming from an unhappy and abrasive wife. His Grandfather comes to him in a dream and relates the story of David and Abigail found in 1 Samuel 25. The thing I found so compelling the Grandfathers explanation of Abigail's action as a "type of Christ".

First he brings to light the fact that war began when David's heart sought to do wrong. Even though he had yet to raise his sword against Nabal, his corrupt heart had caused troubles already. This really brought home the fact that "if our hearts fail to love, neither the law nor the prophets, nor anything else-including outward 'righteousness'-can save us." The most important things are to have our hearts right with our Heavenly Father.

The second insight that really hit home was that of the atonement. "The story of Abigail suggests that the atonement is as much for the benefit of the sinned against-the victim of sin- as for the sinner. But her story goes beyond even that. It suggest also that one of the effects of sin is to invite those who have been sinned against-David, in this case- to become sinful themselves, and that the atonement provides the escape from such provocation to sin." The book goes on to say "The idea that the Lord offers to those who have been harmed of potentially harmed by the sins of other the help and sustenance they need to be made whole. Those deprived of love can receive his love. . . With their burdens lifted in this way, the sinned-against are saved from the provocation to sin and are therefore redeemed from their own sins. " So often we think of the atonement as benefiting the sinner. However I know I have found peace through the atonement when I have been the one sinned against. If we bring our sorrow to our Heavenly Father, he will make us whole and bring peace to our hearts. What a wonderful gift that we have been given.